SOME MORE ONE LINERS

I have an ipad, two iPhones, an iPod and a kindle, my wife says I'm very divicive


The inventor of throat lozenges has died. There'll be no coffin at his funeral.

I really don't understand when people on benefits get abuse about owning flat screen TVs, at least they think about the bigger picture!

Had a big row with my Irish mate over the pronunciation of Irish names. I walked away in the end, I didn't want to make a Sean!

I see that software legend Photoshop is turning 25 this week.
Actually, it's turning 38.
It just looks 25.

Where can you find scenic pictures of holiday resorts ?
...Answers on a postcard.

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