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GORILLA ON BOARD - JOKE

Tuesday August 9th, 2011
GORILLA ON BOARD – JOKE

A sailor awakes one morning at anchor to find a gorilla sitting in his spreaders. Not knowing what to do, he puts a PAN-PAN out on channel 16. Moments later comes a response:

“Gorilla Removal Service on 16, can we have your LAT/LON please?”

He gives his location, and within moments a bright orange 30' RIB with twin outboards roars into the anchorage – carefully slowing as it approaches, so as not to upset the simian in the rig. The sailor steps cautiously out of the companionway to tie the rib alongside. The Gorilla watches.

After a quick introduction, and the painful “Yep, that's a gorilla,” the Gorilla Removal Technician (GRT) begins handing things up to the sailor from the RIB. First comes a 10 foot (3m) graphite pole. Next is a 12 gauge double-barrel shotgun, followed by an enormous set of handcuffs. Finally, the GRT hands up a bright orange crate with 'FRAGILE' and 'CAUTION' printed over every side, and climbs aboard himself.

The GRT opens the crate, and out steps a Chihuahua. The small dog circles the crate twice, sits down, and stares up at the gorilla.

“OK, so here's the plan:” says the GRT. “I will climb up your mast, and poke at the ape with the pole. When he falls from the mast, this dog is highly trained to fearlessly go right for his testes. When the gorilla crosses his hands to protect himself, we clap on the handcuffs, and away we go!”

“Wow,” replies the sailor. “you must do this a lot!” Then he looks at the shotgun. “So what's this for?”

“Well, I need you to hold that. In case I fall off of the mast before the gorilla, I need you to shoot that god-damned dog.”
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