BEST JOKES AT EDINBURGH FRINGE

BEST JOKES AT EDINBURGH FRINGE

Edinburgh Fringe Festival has released a list of awards for best jokes. Check them out.

1) Nick Helm: 'I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.'

2) Tim Vine: 'Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.'

3) Hannibal Buress: 'People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works.'

4) Tim Key: 'Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car...'

5) Matt Kirshen: 'I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess.'

6) Sarah Millican: 'My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.'

7) Alan Sharp: 'I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.'


8) Mark Watson: 'Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.'

9) Andrew Lawrence: 'I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.'

10) DeAnne Smith: 'My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin.'

Veteran entertainer Paul Daniels won the wooden spoon for the worst joke of the festival. Which, I think is as funny as any of the above. But then I’m old school.

Anyway is was: 'I said to a fella 'Is there a B&Q in Henley?' He said 'No, there's an H, an E, an N an L and a Y'.'

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