Friday March 18th, 2011
A man who put his second hand wet suit on Ebay has not only bagged £500 for the slightly tatty item but has also become a hero on Facebook and Twitter, even attracting a few proposals of marriage. The secret of his success is the rambling comic description he used to sell the offending article of scuba wear. It goes like this:
'I bought this wetsuit brand-new last year and have worn it a fair bit. When I say 'fair' I reckon about 20 times, but then probably more like 30. A fair few times anyway.
'If it was not being worn, it was hung on a hangar or rolled to prevent creasing AND I rinsed it in fresh water after EVERY session so it's in VERY good condition as I look after my gear, I always do, similarly I take care of my body and shower at least once a day and always moisturise.
'Yes you're probably getting a feel for the kind of man I am. You can see from the pictures it has no creases and looks lovely. My friend Gaz has got a wetsuit that he doesn't look after and it looks like an Elephant's arse, all wrinkled, a bit like an old man's testicle.
'You're probably thinking 'People p**s in wetsuits, I'm not sure about a second hand wetsuit', but believe it or not I have NEVER urinated in this suit, seriously, these suits are too good to be doing such a vulgar act in....
'I've included a picture of a bear using a urinal, this is how I normally use the toilet, notice that the animal is not wearing a wetsuit. Although I am not a bear, I, like a bear, do not p**s in wetsuits.'
The seller ‘d_h_morgan’ also claims the wet suit will make you 'surf at least 200% better', then admitting, 'It won't really but it will keep you warm and it's flexible so you'll be able to throw your arms around like Beyonce whilst you're bouncing along a wave.'
Mr Morgan has promised to give 90% of the proceeds from the sale to the Red Cross relief fund for Japan.
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