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POLICE MISTAKE STRIPPER FOR OFFICER 22 T

POLICE MISTAKE STRIPPER FOR OFFICER 22 T Friday January 23rd, 2009

It would appear that Grampian Police need a reality check after incurring the wrath of the public and court system in equal measures, following a relentless campaign against a student stripogram. Genetics scholar, Stuart Kennedy, was arrested whilst driving home from Aberdeen’s Tiger Club in full police uniform. This would be quite understandable if it were not for the fact that they had previously felt the 25-year-old’s collar on five separate occasions in the last two years.
‘Officer Eros’ claimed he had been forced to flee the club mid performance when a jealous boyfriend became threatening towards him. The arrest led to his 22nd appearance in court, resulting in 123 hours of detention.
His first appearance occurred after two plain-clothes female officers spotted him outside a club in Aberdeen and asked if he needed any assistance. Mr Kennedy explained that he was actually a stripper. The officers then watched his 25-minute baton twirling, uniform shedding performance at the Paramount venue before taking him in for questioning. He informed the police that he had bought his baton and CS canister on the Internet at ‘One Stop Cop Shop.’ The CS, he explained, was for protection against possible attack by irate males.
The ‘sexy sergeant’ remains fairly puzzled at the local forces attitude towards something that, at £115 a pop seems like the ideal way to pay off student debts. 'I was a dancer when I was younger and a choreographer I worked with suggested it would be a good way to make some money… The hours were great as I could study during the week and I thought it would be fun. But instead it has turned into a nightmare.'
This attitude appears to be shared by Labour’s Justice spokesman Richard Baker who told the Independent, 'I don't see this as serving effectively as a deterrent and people regard this more as ludicrous than as a serious matter.'
With the case collapsing after the Crown Office dropped all charges it would seem Mr Kennedy is now free to fill the fantasies of uniform loving ladies throughout the county with only the wrath of jealous boyfriends to worry about. In the meantime the case has cost an estimated £170,000 of public money. Which confirms the theory:
SEX IS MONEY!